The fact is, a shocking number of the calories we consume at coffee joints doesn't come from the food. It comes from the coffee, and that's a shame. A cup of coffee in its raw, natural state contains only 5 calories, and the metabolism-boosting benefits of caffeine actually make coffee a good weight-loss supplement. But too much of our coffee has been razzle-dazzled into sugary, fatty, dessert-like beverages: Instead of drinking a cup of Joe, we're drinking... Joeshakes.
That said, as we discovered researching our forthcoming book, Drink This, Not That!, you can get your morning buzz without the accompanying caloric load, if you know what to look for—and what to avoid. Here's an overview of the best—and worst—coffee drinks in America.
#5: WORST FLAVORED LATTE
Dairy Queen Caramel MooLatte (24 fl oz)
870 calories
24 g fat (19 g saturated, 1 g trans)
112 g sugars
Per ounce this so-called coffee concoction delivers 1 gram of fat and 4.6 grams of sugar, making even Starbucks’ over-the-top line of Frappuccinos look like reasonably decent options. Maybe that’s why DQ decided to give it a name that alludes to the animal it promises to turn you into. If you can bring yourself to backtrack out of Dairy Queen and walk down to the neighboring coffee shop, you can order a large iced latte with a couple shots of flavored syrup and still save somewhere around 600 calories. (Do that a few times a week and lose 25 pounds in a year!) But if you’re stuck where you are, you better plan on pairing a small treat with a regular cup of coffee.Drink This Instead!Small Chocolate Ice Cream Cone with a medium cup of coffee
240 calories
7 g fat (5 g saturated)
34 g sugars
BONUS TIP: Drinks aren't the only way to pack on unwanted calories. Think salads are healthy? Check out these 15 gut-busting salads.
#4: WORST COFFEE/SHAKE HYBRID
Baskin Robbins Cappuccino Blast Turtle (large, 32 fl oz)
960 calories
27 g fat (16 g saturated, 0.5 g trans)
103 g sugars
In early 2009, when last we compiled our Worst Drinks list, Baskin Robbins stole the Worst Drink spot by a caloric landslide. The chain’s Chocolate Oreo Shake had 2,600 calories, and the Heath and York Peppermint Patty Shake wasn’t far behind. Thankfully, Baskin has since removed those items from its menu, but if it wants amnesty from us, it will have to drop the 32-ounce cup.Drink This Instead!
Cappuccino Blast made with Soft Serve (small, 16 fl oz)
280 calories
9 g fat (6 g saturated)
21 g sugars
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#3: WORST LATTE
Krispy Kreme Lotta Latte Chiller (Large, 20 oz)
1,050 calories
40 g fat (36 g saturated)
97 g sugars
This has a lotta something, but it ain’t latte. The average latte of this size, even when made with whole milk, has about 6 grams of saturated fat. This “kremey” abomination has six times that much—nearly two days' worth! Unfortunately Krispy Kreme makes it difficult to choose an alternative. Sure, the chain offers a line of hot espresso beverages, but it refuses to spill the beans on the nutritional info. That means you’re taking a big chance when you order the calorific Mocha or Kaffe Kreme. Instead, break your order down into two functions: the sweet and the caffeinated.Drink This Instead!
Very Berry Chiller (Large, 20 oz) with a cup of regular coffee
290 calories
0 g fat
71 g sugars
BONUS TIP: Save calories, time, and money with the free Eat This, Not That! newsletter. Sign up today and you’ll get the Eat This, Not That! guide to shopping once and eating for a week, also for free.
#2: WORST PROTEIN-FORTIFIED COFFEE DRINK
Smoothie King Mo’cuccino Caramel (large, 40 fl oz)
1,140 calories
24 g fat (12 g saturated)
20 g protein
176 g sugars
The good news is that all Smoothie King’s coffee smoothies come equipped with a big scoop of protein powder. The bad news is that if you order this one, it will cost you more than half your day’s calories and as much sugar as 8 full-sized Hershey’s Milk Chocolate Bars. Stick with reasonable drinks and—more importantly—reasonable portions.Drink This Instead!
Coffee Smoothie Caramel (20 fl oz)
340 calories
1 g fat (0 g saturated)
14 g protein
56 g sugars
BONUS TIP: For a more comprehensive list of dubious beverages, and what to drink instead, check our 2010 list of the 20 Worst Drinks in America.
#1: WORST FROZEN MOCHA
Cosi Double Oh! Arctic Mocha (gigante, 23 oz)
1,210 calories
19 g fat (10 g saturated)
240 g sugars
A frozen mocha will never be a stellar option, but we’ve still never come across anything that competes with this cookie-coffee-milkshake hybrid from Cosi. Essentially it’s a mocha-flavored Blizzard made with Oreo cookies and topped with whipped cream and an oversized Oreo. Maybe that’s why it has half your day’s saturated fat and more sugar than a dozen Twinkies.Drink This Instead!
Mocha (tall, 11 oz)
298 calories
8 g fat (5 g saturated)
41 g sugars
BONUS TIP: For other coffee secrets and tons of useful tweets, follow Dave Zinczenko on Twitter.
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